Two months ago I was in a completely different place. I wrote a pretty dark blog, and had some very dark thoughts. I couldn’t see the positives in my life; I couldn’t see the happiness! Getting out of bed seemed like the most difficult thing in the world and it took all my power to sit through a three-hour lecture without crying. I was suffering with the most intense anxiety that I have ever faced. I was so disappointed in my past and I was terrified of my future. I felt stuck. I was not sure what to do next, and not sure I was capable of handling the rest of my life. I found myself not being able to filter thoughts, or formulate sentences. I pulled back from the people who love me and shed many tears. ‘To Be Honest…’ was the culmination of all of those feelings, and all those fears all piled into one, very dark blog.
After that blog I made a conscious choice to not let that negativity be my reality. I turned it all around! I started to see the sun shine, hear the birds chirp, and was back to being myself. I felt complete again. I am not going to lie, since that turn-around I have had slips and have fallen back to that dark place, but luckily (with a lot of help and love) I didn’t stay there long. Continue reading