Down, But Not Out- REVISED

Last night was the first night in two weeks that I went to bed excited about the following day. As I laid my head on my pillow, I said to myself “Tomorrow is going to be powerful day!” … But it did not start like that.

Everyone has bad days… This is what one of mine looks like.


I hate the days when I have to retreat to a bathroom stall to silently cry.

I am having one of those days.

I am feeling so ashamed of who I am. I feel like a piece of shit, like I’m wasting my life away.

I feel so ashamed of who I am and I don’t want to talk to people. I don’t want people to have to deal with who I am. I am literally sitting in a concrete stairwell because I don’t even want to burden strangers with my presence by sitting amongst a crowd.

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I am sick of Sunday Nights

Tonight I called my dad and he answered the phone out of breath… “Is everything okay?” I asked. “Yeah,” he said “I knew it would be you, so I ran from downstairs to answer the phone.” I chuckle a bit, “Yes, I call every Sunday night.”

I would love to say that I call my parents every Sunday night to get them caught up on my wonderful life… but in reality our calls are filled with a lot of tears and A LOT of swearing – I am pretty sure I swear more on Sunday night than I do the rest of the week combined. I call my parents every Sunday night in either a fit of rage or anxiety over school.

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